Create a Life, Not Just a Career Reflections on Identity, Work, and Remembering Who You Are

I recently added a quote to my vision board that struck something deep in me:

“Create a career out of your life”

It landed because, as I sat with it, I started to notice how many people I’ve come across lately who are doing the opposite. Their job isn’t just something they do—it’s who they are, on and off the clock.

You know the kind of thing:

The teacher you can spot a mile away from how they explain things.

The lawyer who debates every single point, even over dinner.

The vet whose love for animals shows up in every moment.

The farmer who dresses like they’re still in the field, even at a wedding.

But it goes even further. Take the salesperson, for example.

Some people don’t just sell in their job—they sell everywhere.

They sell themselves in social situations. They sell ideas at the family table, angling for their Christmas plan to win. They might even try to “close” every conversation, always pitching something, approval, attention, control. Because that’s become the way they move through the world.

And then there are the athletes.

Many sportspeople don’t leave competition on the court or the track.

They bring it home, into relationships, parenting, even social circles.

They want to have the smartest kids, the most accomplished kids. The flashiest car. The fittest body. The highest salary.

They don’t just want to succeed in sport, they want to win at life.

And while that drive can create excellence, it can also breed exhaustion, pressure, and disconnection.

We start to live from the outside in, shaped by what we do, not by who we are.

And when our identity becomes so entangled in our role, it’s easy to forget ourselves.

The barista who’s always in service mode, even on holiday.

The facilitator who never stops holding space and forgets how to receive.

The caretaker who knows how to give but struggles to ask.

The teacher who can’t stop correcting.

The CEO who doesn’t know how to rest.

Sometimes these roles feel like masks or hats we can’t take off, even when we need to.

And for some, that’s okay. Some people are their role through and through, and they love it. But for many of us, there’s a cost to never stepping outside of that identity. It can slowly flatten us, burn us out, or leave us feeling like we’ve forgotten parts of ourselves that used to feel so alive.

You are more than what you give.

More than what you do.

More than your title.

You are allowed to be a full human being, not just a role you’ve mastered.

You are not just the lawyer, you’re also Leila, who used to love painting.

Not just the nurse, you’re also Sam, who dreams of dancing in South America.

Not just a father, you’re also Tom, who loves star-gazing and used to write poetry.

We can reclaim those forgotten pieces.

We can take the hats off sometimes.

We can remember ourselves again.

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” - Rumi

If this resonates, I recommend checking out Dr. Gabor Maté’s talks or podcasts, especially his reflections on identity and burnout. He speaks powerfully about how many of us lose ourselves in what we do and how to gently come back home.

Or dive into “The Way of Integrity” by Martha Beck, which explores how to untangle from roles and rediscover what’s truly aligned for you.

Because your career can be a meaningful expression of your life.

But it doesn’t have to be your life.

You get to be whole, even when you’re off the clock.