“Practice what you preach” is not a fair thing to state!

“Practice What You Preach” , Why This Phrase Can Be Unfair, Unkind, and Deeply Misunderstood

There’s a phrase that gets thrown around far too casually:

“They should practice what they preach.”

You might hear it in conversations, or see it tossed around in comment sections:

• “Isn’t she a therapist? Why is she having a meltdown?”

• “Aren’t they a life coach? Why are they struggling with anxiety?”

• “He’s a personal trainer, why isn’t he in shape right now?”

• “She posts all about nutrition but is always sick.”

And what’s really being said underneath that?

That if you teach, support, or guide others, you should somehow be immune to suffering.

That if you offer wisdom, tools, or care, you should have it all together, all the time.

But here’s one truth: there is no rulebook that says being a therapist, coach, healer, or wellness professional makes you less human. There is no signed social contract that says you must be the poster child of perfection, 24/7.

Let’s name it: this pressure is not only unrealistic, it’s dehumanising.

We are not our professions. We are people.

I know therapists who have panic attacks.

I know life coaches who feel lost sometimes.

I know personal trainers who fall out of routine after an injury.

I know well-being practitioners who struggle with burnout.

I know dietitians whose bodies change during times of grief and stress.

Why? Because we all have nervous systems, emotions, DNA, and life circumstances beyond what any job title can buffer us from.

Being in a helping profession doesn’t mean someone has hacked the human experience. It means they’ve committed to walking alongside others through it, but that walk will still include pain, fatigue, and vulnerability.

One of the reasons I’m writing this is because I recently blindsided myself.

I’ve spent years encouraging others to rest, refill, create, and nourish themselves. I’ve spoken about the importance of topping yourself up, of making space for creativity and softness. And yet, I’ve only just realised that for the last four years, I’ve been using self-care not for myself, but as fuel to keep giving.

Every cup of cacao, every journal entry, every beach walk or poetry moment, was subconsciously tied to productivity. I was resting only so I could create again. I was replenishing only to pour again.

I hadn’t stopped to enjoy the modalities I offer others just for me.

Not to teach from, or birth new ideas from.

Not to recharge just to get back to work.

But to simply be in the experience. To receive. To play. To feel.

So, this August, I’m giving myself that gift.

I’m reclaiming my creativity, my rituals, and my energy just for me.

Not for anyone else. Not to make anything from it. Not to heal others with it.

Just to be with myself. To write poetry for no reason. To drink cacao for joy. To rest for rest’s sake.

It’s not all mindset

Let’s also name what “practice what you preach” comments ignore:

• Genetics & Epigenetics: Some of us carry physical or emotional legacies we didn’t choose.

• Systemic & Environmental stressors: Financial hardship, racism, ableism, pollution, or housing insecurity can impact health no matter how many green smoothies someone drinks.

• Trauma: Healing is not a straight line. And no one is healed out of obligation to others.

You can eat well, move regularly, journal daily, take your supplements, do the somatic work, and still get sick.

You can regulate your nervous system and still have an off day.

You can help others find balance while losing your own footing for a moment.

And that does not make you a hypocrite. That makes you a human being.

What these comments really do…

The “practice what you preach” judgment doesn’t just sting, it silences.

It teaches those in caring roles to hide their struggles, to mask their symptoms, to perform wellness rather than live authentically. And this only leads to shame, suppression, and disconnection, not better outcomes for anyone.

I’ve been guilty of saying it myself in the past.

But now, I see how damaging it is.

I’ve felt that fear of being told the same thing if I have a low moment, or a dip in my own health, someone might whisper: “Well, she should know better.”

But no one knows better than those who are living it, in real time.

Let’s build something better.

Let’s build a community where:

• The therapist can say “I’m not okay right now.”

• The life coach can admit, “I’m struggling to motivate myself today.”

• The nutritionist can say, “My immune system is having a hard time.”

• The healer can say, “I need healing too.”

As Brené Brown says:

“You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.”

So let’s allow the ones guiding others toward courage to also be vulnerable themselves.

A new standard…

Let’s shift the standard from:

“Practice what you preach”

to

“Live what you teach, with space for imperfection, honesty, and growth.”

Let’s make it less about performance, and more about presence.

Less about proving worthiness, and more about allowing humanity.

Because you can absolutely know how to support others and still need support yourself.

Let that be the new way we honor each other.

If you’re reading this and realising you’ve been pushing through, performing wellness, or giving from an empty place, maybe now is your time too. Not to stop showing up, but to show up for yourself first.

You’re allowed to take up space.

You’re allowed to create just for you.

You’re allowed to rest without explaining why.

You are allowed to be both a guide and a human.

Let’s give each other the grace and compassion to be both.